Thank you

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This blog is a creative outlet for me to be able to express how I feel and talk about some of the issues I’ve dealt with.  I want to bring light to some of the challenges I have been faced with along with the challenges of other people and help others going through similar situations.  So this is for the one’s who have lost a friend, a boyfriend/girlfriend, or for those who just want to hear my story…

Friends and family are essential to human survival and you need them to help get you by. That doesn’t always mean that the limits of your friendship won’t be tested by outside people and/or situations. Certain things will occur that will make you restate and question your friendship with particular people. And sometimes, we let it get the best of us..

For as long as I can remember I have always had my own opinions and ways of doing things, but once high school came around I was so caught up in pleasing everyone and like everyone else, I just wanted to fit in.  I made some friendships with people who I thought were positive influences, but all they really did was put me down and made me feel like crap (sorry for lack of a better term). I had 1 friend that I had known for 5 years, not only was she my best friend, but she was my sister. She was the one person who knew me more than I knew myself. The start of high school was rough for me. I was dealing with a lot, family wise, and the pressures of school only made everything worse.  The friendships that I developed during this time, were little did I know, going to be very short lived and temporary. But don’t get me wrong; I met some amazing people that I know will be friends for life. Anyway, I have always been one to stand up for what I believe in and do my own thing and doing what everyone else is collectively doing has never been in my interest. As you know high school changes people, some for the better, and some for the worse, and some of my friends picked up a strong appeal for that kind of lifestyle. I was torn apart to see some of them change into everything I never wanted in a friend. As me and particular people in my life grew apart, I learned to enjoy my own company and appreciate who I am and what I stand for. By far the hardest part of it all was losing my best friend, the one person I thought would always be by my side. While that was happening I was dealing with another relationship that had just recently ended. I thought I had lost it all, and for a long time, I remained unhappy and felt like the world was against me. I would spend hours in my room feeling discouraged and lost and talked to no one but my mom and a couple of really close friends.  For a long time, I failed to see things in perspective. I didn’t see the point in anything, if I didn’t have these two people by my side. Everyone I encountered gave me words of encouragement and the typical, “time heals all wounds.” but I had no idea how it would ever get better. But with the loss of these people, I gained so much more in return. I had a new found wisdom on who I was. I learned how ignorant and senseless people can be. But most importantly, I learned that it’s okay to outgrow people. It happens. You find out who you are, what you want, and what you like and then you realize that the person you thought you’d be friends with forever, doesn’t see things the way you do, so you find yourself moving on. It was hard to accept and to find it in myself to forgive, but I did. As bad as things got at a certain point, looking back, I wouldn’t change anything. As cliche as it sounds, now I know everything really does happen for a reason, it may not seem like it at the time, but keep the faith and keep the hope, because it really does get better. So thank you to those who came and went; for giving me room to grow, giving me the opportunity to see the world with a different perspective, and for teaching me so much about life, myself, and friendships.

Lastly, as for the friends that I have now, I don’t think I would be able to do life without them. Friends are there to pick you up when everyone else let’s you down. They are the one’s that call you names and make fun of you, but make you strongest during the toughest of times. I believe they contribute a lot in making us who we are and they’re importance is sometimes overlooked. And if you take anything from this, learn to  appreciate the people you have in your life because they might not always be around.

 

 

xoxo, sienna

 

 

 

 

 

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